We have it all wrong – no person in the world is either a total introvert or a total extrovert. If that was the case, we would all be pronounced totally crazy. The Ambivert Personality Continuum Scale (which shows where on the spectrum you are) has ambivert in the centre, and normal people are 25% either on the introvert or the extrovert side. Moreover, a recent research has shown that our genetic material has a lot to do with the tendencies that are stronger in us. So, if you are an introvert (that is ambivert with 25-50% of introvert functions), here’s a list of things you could do if you want to change that to a certain extent.
Open up to people
Even though it might be hard for you to open up to people since you’re an introvert, you should do so gradually. Introverts take time in trusting people, so even if you find it a bit difficult to gain confidence at the beginning, you should be ready for that leap. Opening up is not only important for maintaining good personal relationships, it is also quite vital for your confidence and mental health. Never keep problems only to yourself, be ready to hear somebody else’s point of view as it might help you a lot in the future. Start with the small things – such as work or preferences, and once you have the trust of a certain person, go a bit more personal.
It is a well-known fact how difficult it is for an introvert to make the first step and approach someone new in order to start a conversation. However, there are times when we most certainly have to do that first. This notion is quite unknown to extroverts – why would anyone have a problem with this? So, if you, for example, find someone you really like, take the courage and approach them with a casual “hello”. Even though this may result in a way you didn’t want, you have to know that extroverted people don’t perceive this as embarrassing as maybe you do. Be assertive in certain ways and show the world, the people around you, and yourself, that you want something.
Don’t be afraid of confrontation
Well, it’s not only the introverts who dislike confrontation, to be honest. However, for them, moments of confrontation can be more stressful, and a bit harder to deal with. Even though this is the case, it is not healthy to keep your mouth shut always. Again, start with the little things – next time you don’t like the service at the restaurant, speak your mind. You don’t have to be scared of making a scene, because you won’t be doing that. Simply letting other people know what hurt you or what made you uncomfortable can also help other people know how to properly behave when they’re around you.
Date and socialize
Dating might help introverts open up and start talking about their personal experiences and problems, at least to that special someone. Since effective communication is of the utmost importance when it comes to a relationship between an extrovert and an introvert, dating older men can be of great help here, since they are more mature and have more life experience, thus might understand other people’s problems more. However, this doesn’t always have to be the case. The most important thing is to socialize and date people you are very comfortable with as that is the key to opening up romantically.
The last tip is to shine. Always give your maximum and show the world how great and valuable you are. As Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychologist from Psychology Today, says, make a plan on how to change certain behaviours. The sentence “I’m going to change” is not going to help much at all. According to her, you should choose a particular day and make an effort.
To sum up, there are ways in which you can tackle the introvert inside of you. The most important thing is to start with baby steps and understand that other people want to have more of you in their lives.
About The Author
Peter is a lifestyle writer and a recent newly wed living in Brisbane, Australia. After graduating from Australian Institute of Creative Design, he worked as a fashion stylist and also as a freelance writer for few local magazines in Brisbane. Beside writing, he loves shopping, cooking exotic meals and traveling around tropical destinations with his hubby Josh. His future plans are in creating his personal lifestyle blog about everyday life-saving tips. Follow Peter on Facebook and Twitter.